Touchless Faucets-A Review

We live in an age that’s all about efficiency and convenience.  Just flip on the television and the commercials pitch products that not only get things done, they get them done quickly and reliably.  There’s an app for that and an app for this.  Why walk to the lightswitch to turn on your lights when you can quickly and conveniently do it from your phone, while driving, so that everything is lit up when you arrive home?   What’s next?  An app that gives your spouse a kiss without you having to do so?

Now, I get it.  Some of these conveniences are not only a sign of the times, but actually can improve the quality of our lives. Give us more time to spend on what really matters.  However, there’s one modern convenience that’s been around for a while and just plain needs to go.  It’s the touchless faucet.

Every time I’m at a sink in a bathroom with a touchless faucet, one of two things happens: it either doesn’t come on, or it comes on and then goes off. On. Off.  On a second, off a second.  Wave. Cuss. On. Off.  Steady stream?  Yes, here it comes.  Nope.  Off.  Are you starting to sense the frustration? Are you nodding, thinking, “Yes, that happens to me ALL THE TIME!”  How about when you have your hands all lathered up with soap and stick them under the degenerate piece of metal and nothing comes out?  Do you ever find yourself waving, like a pageant queen, only to pull your hands out and then the damn thing turns on?  Then you stick them under again and off it goes? Then on, then off?  See my point?

Maybe I just visit all the wrong bathrooms with faulty touchless faucets.  Maybe the technology has improved. Maybe. But then up comes another issue.  Without the ability to control the water temperature, the water is either too hot or it is too cold.  Too hot or too cold.  You can’t control it, people!  And if there’s one thing we know, it’s that we like control.  Heck, Janet Jackson even wrote a whole song about control! So in this scenario, it goes like this:  Ouch that’s mother f#*@!ing hot…on…off…on a second…off…steady stream…here it comes…almost got all the soap rinsed…off…on…cold…F#@! 

And let’s not pretend you don’t cuss, even if it’s silently to yourself.

(Let’s pause to take a break.  Deep breath in, out, in, out.)

I get why the creators of the touchless faucet created the touchless faucet.  It’s sanitary–who wants all that nasty bathroom bacteria?   It saves water.  It helps kids to not leave the water running.  And the list goes on and on and on.  (Too bad the faucet doesn’t stay on.)

Let’s rethink the touchless faucet.  Let’s go back to the golden days when we had to turn on the water, (yes- even if that movement doesn’t count as a step on your Fit Bit), select your temperature, and get the job done.  Right. The first time.

You can still wave like a pageant queen if you want to, but do it with clean hands…and a smile.